Happy Thanksgiving

Hanging with the babe and skyping with the family is all I have on the agenda today. I was uber sick yesterday... like puking up blood sick. It's awful. I'm resting easy and not eating anything special today. Blueberry Muffins have already been ruined for me, I won't let this take pumpkin pie from me too!

Have a blessed and Happy Holiday everyone!

It's That Time of Year

So it's that time of year... you know when you begin to think about what you are thankful for. Then you immediately turn in a list of the things you don't have but want because you aren't satisfied with what you have.

So this year like so many years before I have purchased a few of my presents early. I've worked in retail before and I always had my stuff done by the end of September because I refuse to go into retail stores in Nov/Dec and October is for me. :D

Brittany is really easy to buy for, we like mostly the same things. Ivory on the other hand is a bit tricky. A lot of toys that are cute aren't made for small children. Everything is basically 3+ which is really annoying. I thought I'd have to think really hard about what to get her. But then an idea came to me, out of nowhere! Ivory really likes Adventure Time and when I saw Bethany make The Lich King from clay I had to comment and ask if she could make any of the other characters. Ivory already has a Jake stuffed animal so this would be perfect.

Let me show you a preview of Ivory's present that Bethany hand made.

I requested "safe eyes" because of the whole small parts dilemma. I was so relieved when she told me she could embroider the eyes. I think this is coming along fabulously!

Ta da! Lady Rainicorn.

It's it just the cutest thing ever?  We actually were going to dress Ivory up as Lady for Halloween but that didn't work out so she was just a regular unicorn instead. Still, this is going to be the best present she gets because she should be able to hang onto it and keep it for awhile. I'm excited. I asked Bethany for the photos and if I could put it up on display. So if you guys like Adventure time or anything head over to Bethany's blog and see if she can make you something! She has two shops; a handmade Etsy shop as well as Vintage clothing  Etsy shop. You'll definitely find something there and love it, I know you will.

Vote in the comments: Handmade vs Store Bought?

Sunday Funday: Regional Dialect Vlog

So apparently this was HUGE in 2011. It's almost 2013. Where the hell have I been? This is supposedly called Regional Dialect meme... but it's a bunch of people posting videos of themselves. Internet memes are like Condescending Wonka. They are snarky graphics with words and stupid pictures on them to make you laugh. How is this a meme? Oi vey! Anyways, I saw this on SrslyLiz, and so I am stealing yet another thing of hers after doing some research on it.

Hands down best of these ever goes to this dude:

I only decided to watch it because of his accent but then I fell in love with him. I've decided I'm going to Scotland and I am going to find him and buy him coffee... and hope that he's like "Aye you ignorant American, will you marry me?" But read it in his accent because it's glorious. Seriously, this makes me want to watch Trainspotting. I couldn't stop laughing during this, it's the secret to winning my heart. Just make me laugh until I piss myself. Plus, look at all those books. It looks like he lives in a damn Library. Oi, it is love. But yes, see they say trolley! Told you!

10 Amazing Pins from Pinterest

Hands down, errbody knows Pinterest is the most amazing thing since sliced bread. It allows you to collect all of these awesome images from around the web and put them into one cohesive place to store until you need them. So yesterday while I was bored at work I was busy pinning away.

If you'd like to pin any of these, just click the "Pin It Yourself" in the caption and it will take you to my pinboard and you can repin to your hearts content!

Tuesday Tunes: A Playlist

Howdy folks, hope you enjoyed yesterday's Make Up Monday! Today I'm going to slow it down for you a little bit and create a playlist. I've showed you a bunch of different sides of me but you've yet to see the musical side. I like a little bit of everything from Pop to Rock to Country to Dance, even classical, musical and Barbershop. So I thought I'd share with you some (10) of my favorite songs and music videos.

WARNING: Adult themes and Lingo people...



Garbage... I've loved Shirley Manson for as long as I can remember. She's probably one of my top style icons.


TLC - I listened to this at 7 years old. I remember waiting around to press record to record their songs on a cassette tape. Now that I'm older and understand the lyrics I'm like "mom, you let me listen to this? BLESS YOU!"


Ok this one makes me sad. I discovered The Matches like 3 months before they broke up. I hate that. Stay together bands, do it for the fans!


Awww my boys. I couldn't make a playlist without the people who revolutionized music for me. These guys were the ones who saved me from myself, pulled me out of my funk and showed me the road to happiness. I stopped trying to kill myself and started living life. They inspired me to follow my heart and my dreams in a way that my family, therapy or the world in general couldn't. They've never made a song I didn't like. They may not be for everyone but they are for me and that's all that matters. They're also the sweetest group of dudes EVER.


Current musical crush. I'm absolutely in LOVE with Mumford & Sons. Something about the banjo man... it does things to a girl. Plus their lyrics are outstanding. Very folk and kinda bluegrass (I've never really been into bluegrass but maybe now?) but very good.


Oh yes, BSB is back! To be honest I was a fence rider. I was a Nick (BSB) girl and a Lance (Nysnc) girl and a Drew (98 Degrees) girl. I liked all the boy bands equally. Go figure I like the gay one, the one who hits girls and the one who cheats. I pick winners through and through.


I discovered this sassy Swed when I lived in California thanks to Betsy Johnson and well, it's just so fun to listen too!


Pat Benetar... this woman and I go way way back. I discovered I could sing because of this woman. I used to only listen to Christian music. One tape exactly. Steven Curtis Chapman and I can't tell you any more than that. But I got tired of it one day and so I opened up my mom's glovebox and her tape was in there. It was a woman so I wanted to play it and my mom put her hand on the tape deck and goes "It's not christian" and I just said ok. I put it in and I never looked back. Belting out Heartbreaker and Hell is For Children became my favorite past time. Music has never been the same. Also, she's married to her guitarist Spyder and if you get a chance go read her bio. So inspiring.


I love how hauntingly beautiful her voice is and the lyrics to this song are superb. There's an awesome video here of her with Mumford & Sons and Dharohar Project (an Indian act) from Folkfest that is absolutely stunning.


I kind of hated the world and Brody made it cool to be a female punk rocker. Very important to me in my high school days. I dressed just like her and tried to emulate her in high school to very isolating effects.

I didn't realize how hard it would be to pick and post just 10 songs. I wanted so badly to put more of my favorite music in this post. I'll have to do it again sometime. This playlist makes it look like mainly girls on my ipod, which that's true. I like to sing and girls tend to have more depth to their range but I sing better along males since I'm usually an alto and my voice goes pretty low.But this is basically what I listen to. I'm a genre girl so I'll go for a year listening to just indie music or just girl rock or just pop music, or just country or I'll go all over the place and pick stuff from punk, screamo, country, classical, everything. I don't listen to gospel or christian music - nothing of an extremely religious nature basically. I listen to bands or people who identify as Christian obviously but I will only listen to the music if you can't tell as to what they are singing about. It's just not for me, even though I grew up on it.


What are some of your favorite songs?

Irrational Thought Patterns & Dream Homes

Do you have a dream house? What's it like? The other day my co-worker and I whilst contemplating the impending doom that is one of us is leaving the country because our choice for President was not elected, we discovered we had something in common. We are both novice doomsday preparers! We started talking about living off the fat of the land and all that back to nature bullshark so many drone on and on about. But that's totally my cup of tea.

Credit: Canty Shanty

I want to build an affordable ecologically friendly but naturally sustainable fortress in the woods on a huge plot of land. One fully prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse or the decline of civilization as we know it. You know, whichever one happens first.  I want to be able to dance in the woods naked around a bon fire should I so choose. Like that's how footloose and funky free I want to be on my plot of land with my zombie resistant housing. I'm a little nut-so, I know but I like it. So whatever. I want to have to have my own little plot of land in the woods and just chill out.

I found one house from Mekaworld.com thanks to Elycia that I absolutely love.

 I could totally plop this on a plot of land and live here. It's just under $200,000 to purchase and I'd only have to find a contractor to set up the foundation, plumbing and electric. So if their fee is 10% I just spent $220 grand on a really awesome home in the woods. Just gotta find a 2-5 acre spread near water and I'll probably have a really cool house for under a half million dollars. Not too shabby right?

But in all seriousness, an ideal house for me has to have these four main components:

1. It has to be by water. I'm not going to spend my entire life paying for something that isn't near water. I like the sound of running water. The beach calms me and I'd need a water source at the end of the world.
2. It must be made of sustainable material. I need it to last. I also need it to be economically friendly since I'm going to be shelling out a lotta moula for the place to begin with but on top of that utilities! 
3. Cute because I'm not going to live in some ugly pothole that I'm paying half a million or more for. No freaking way man.
4. Multi-level. I've always wanted a big house with multi-levels. Just like being by water isn't negotiable, neither is this.

So whenever I get really bored I like to draw floor plans for houses I'll never build or own it's my thing. And with this whole "dooms day preparer" conversation from a few hours previous I found myself thinking possibly irrationally. I'm not a snazzy architect. My dad was a carpenter, a really good one and every now and then he'd be drawing a housing floor plan so he taught me a bit. But I was young, I just wanted to spend time with him. I'm no pro, but I know the in's-and-out's. I wanted to make sure I was drawing the opening for a door or something right. I tried looking up some floor plans to compare. I searched for "affordable ecological and sustainable housing floor plan" in Google. I found a pretty neat website that had a lot of floor plans and since this is my "perfect dwelling" we are talking about here I skip straight to the 2-story 3+ bedroom floor plans.

Stillwater Dwellings
Can I add that my favorite movie is Almost Famous,
and the band in that movie is called Stillwater?
Can this house come with Jason Lee singing Feverdog?
No? Alright fine.

As I'm going through these I realize a pattern in my thought process. I'm looking at these and going "Ok, good bedroom placement. I like the closet. Oooo I like the idea of a mudroom, I can make my soap in there!" and various other juicy tidbits right. Then I come across one and in my head I'm going 'No, I'd never live in this house because the master bedroom is in the back, the kids rooms are too far away and I'd never be able to get to them in time if some crazed lunatic tried to come in the front door and kill them' and I wonder, is this thought pattern rational or irrational?

Like, who else thinks shit like that? I have always been protective of people that I love and care about. I was abused for much of my life and I have developed a fighter mentality. I had to, to survive and I guess that has never gone away but instead of picking fights with other people I spend my energy protecting people who can't protect themselves. You know, I do for others what no one did for me. This is the psychologist in me talking of course. But I study serial killers and watch horror movies, I study martial arts and know my basic self-defense. I've taken a gun course, I'm pretty handy with a knife. I've looked into learning fencing so I can fight with a sword. You know, weird shit many might deem useless but I'm into it.

Also, if I can't have a cabin in the woods by water I want this shiznit:

Zombie-Proof House

So this is basically a glimpse inside my head. These hair brained schemes are what go through my head when I'm left to my own devices. This is why I work and blog and make soap. Because my brain is kind of scary so I have to keep it busy.

What does your dream home look like?

Could you live in something like these?

No Doubt's Looking Hot is in Hot Water

So apparently No Doubt is getting some backlash from their video for Looking Hot. One thing is undeniable, Gwen is definitely looking hot in this video. You'll have to forgive the crappy stills because all of the versions of this video, if you can still find it, are bootleg copies of a copy. But if you're lucky enough to find a video still in the air (I found this one to get the stills) you can see for yourself.

Despite the video being taken down left and right, I quickly screen capped as much of Gwen and her fabulous fashion in this video because for people not to see it would be the real crime. Gwen, you are no rag muffin (as says the lyrics), you're the Xena of Native American's in this video.

Ok, so when you watch the video you can see why it might be offensive. Because you know, it's a bunch of white people dressed as Native Americans battling some white and a few token black people dressed up as cowboys who were just drinking and partying. Yeah, to Native Americans who were captured and enslaved by white people it would be offensive. It would also be offensive to be portrayed as alcoholics since you know, Native Americans battle that disease a lot.

So my question is, you go after No Doubt for portraying things that happened in American history, are you also going to go after every movie studio who makes a Western movie that does the same thing? Have all of these tribes and offended Native American's gone after the Starz Westerns channel for playing movies that depict Native American's in unattractive light? GET OVER YOURSELVES.

They weren't trying to be offensive, they were being artistic. Let's hear every argument about how disploiting a culture isn't art. *gags* I'm sorry, so Native American culture can only be displayed by Native Americans and Blacks can only display things that are strickly from black culture so what are white people or Americans in general since we are a mixture of all cultures allowed to display?
I'm Mexican and UK Mutt (My family has no clue if we're Scottish, English, Welsh or Irish, we just know we're from the Mother Country) so what I'm only half allowed to post pictures of sugar skulls and half allowed to post pictures of... well anything from any country in the UK? Or am I not allowed to post any of it because I don't know my heritage?

When is it ok? Or are you saying it is never ok to display appreciation for other cultures that are not my own? I'm just wondering where this arbitrary line is so that I don't cross it. Heaven forbid that something I do or say is offensive to someone else. I'm joking. I really don't care if you're offended by something I say. My blog, my rules. It just pisses me off to no end when people have to censor their art because they don't want to step on toes. That is what art is all about. Well, most of it. I love the video. I think Gwen is looking fierce channeling her Spirit Animal and sending up smoke signals in the desert.

What say you my readers?
Is the video and No Doubt's portrayal offensive or artistic?    

Voting Day: If I Ruled the World

My fellow Americans, today is the day. That's right it is voting day. Which for many of us, myself included that means that our torture is almost over. Soon all of those pesky commercials, press conferences and internet memes will be nothing but another piece of American history. There will also be less high blood pressure spikes and our livers can breathe easy for a few moments knowing that after today you may or may not have to consume copious amounts of alcohol in order to cope with having Obama as our President. Or if things go against my wishes, my liver needs to quiver in fear because I will be drinking non-stop because I'd rather poison myself repeatedly than live in a country were a man dictates what I can do with my own body.

Just go vote. Don't let someone else decide your future for you.

Told you she was running.

If I ran the world, there would be no such thing as a choice.
If you want to keep the baby you keep it, if you don't it magically disappears.
Abortion, what is that?

Seriously, did we get teleported back to 1775 and bring technology with us somehow?

Singed, sealed, delivered - I count.
My voice is heard, I will not be silent,
I have a say in what goes on in the government that dictates my future!

But seriously, if I ran the world you guys it would be great. There would be zero money problems because we'd work on the barter system. If you have no skills, no talent and have nothing to offer then as Darwin theorized Natural Selection will sort you out.
Birth Control? Why, you need a license to drive so you need a license to be a parent.
In addition to your regular curriculum of Mathematics, Science, Social Science, History, an art of some form (painting, choir, band, woodshop, ect), a martial art of some kind (basic self defense, Ju Jitsu, Karate, ect), a basic medical course you will be required to know English (which will be our universal language) and one additional language. As in everyone will be, at the very least Bilingual.
All education will be free of course, there should be plenty of teachers because if you can't provide any substantial skills you can at the very least teach.
I have a huge list of things we could do to turn the world around but alas this will never happen so why give out my plans of world domination so soon? You all will fall under my reign soon enough.

You guys know I'm just kidding with this right? I don't want to be responsible for me let alone a country or the world. But it would be kind of sweet. Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Sara! All Hail ME! LOL.

So did you vote?

Sunday Funday: The Walking Dead

I look forward to a few things on Sunday. Being able to completely sleep in (no Ivory cries to wake me like on Saturday) and The Walking Dead.

ZOMBIES! Yes, halloween has passed but the zombie craze never will as demonstrated by the plethora of zombie movies, books and TV shows. I mean c'mon season 3 of The Walking Dead premiered with 10.87 MILLION viewers. Season two started at 7.26 and the season finale got almost 9 million viewers. At the rate of growth, popularity and the fact that season three is the largest season, a whopping 16 episodes (which are to be split into two 8 episodes halves - DAMN IT) the finale for the season should be in the 11-12 million viewer range.

If you're one of the other millions of people who aren't watching the walking dead I have one question for you: Why? It's a genuinely good show. It goes over the basis of our existence, what happens when you don't listen to your elders, what you should[n't] do if your husband dies/ with your best friends wife, why you shouldn't do anything for anyone but yourself, and when all else fails shoot the person behind you to save yourself. I mean, it encompasses the very best of the human species and what they do in a crisis.

Also, since we can admit we all hate Carl & Lori is now the worlds biggest harlot can we also admit that Daryl and Michonne are the best characters in the show? I mean Michonne's ideas are phenomenal. Let me drag around two walkers to mask my scent to other walkers but cut off their lower jaw so they can't bite me and their arms so they can't tear me to shreds. She also carries around a sword she obviously lifted from someone who sells Asian goods. This is great because it keeps her at a far enough distance to effectively chop off the walker's heads but never needs reloading.
Daryl is a hunter using a cross bow with handmade arrows. As long as their are trees he can effectively have a life long weapon and his hunting skills will feed him and keep him safe for years. He can track animals and people and can also avoid detection because of those skills. Please, put both of these people on my team!

These internet memes were just too hilarious to pass up. I couldn't post too many without them being extremely dirty or slut shaming Lori, which let's face it, it's the end of the world for these people. That whole "I wouldn't [verb] you if you were the last person on Earth" phrase comes to mind. I'm guessing a lot of you would actually verb that noun. Don't lie. It's the end of the world and the de-evolution of civilization and society. No one can judge you for anything because basically everyone is dead. Or about to be dead.

If you follow along with the show then maybe you are wondering what I am and that's basically why at this point in the series, have these guys not done the whole take over a prison / build a settlement sooner? I mean with Lori getting preggo and everyone basically dying on Hersel's farm it brings me to this question: Why aren't you guys better prepared?  It's a serious question and I wish I was joking but the CDC actually posted a blog about being prepared for a Zombie invasion and then that whole bath salts I'm-going-to-eat-75%-of-your-face bit, but oh wait just kidding that person wasn't actually on bath salts!

We have zombies. Time to go back to California. ;)

While the CDC was using the whole zombie invasion as a cute ploy to get you to be prepared in general for an emergency here's what you should have in case of a zombie invasion:

• First aid kit - You'll probably be injured and there won't be doctors. 
• Sewing Kit - You may need to stitch yourself or someone else up. Brush up on your sewing skills too.
• Tons of gauze - Because bandaids are flimsy and don't wrap around a torso
• Knife - You'll need it as last defense to stab zombies, to clean animals you kill for food and to make other weapons.
• Dependable Weapon- Sword, Spear or Bow and Arrow. Get like Katniss and make one if you have to because ammo won't be around forever.
• Boots - You might have to go through mud, water, rough terrain trying to run away. Flimsy tennis shoes, flats, flip flops or heels won't cut it.
• Water - You'll need it for everything. It would also be a good idea to live on an island or have your main camp on a boat out at sea. Zombies aren't really known to swim. Although there was that one movie where they walked on the ocean floor. Yikes!
• Defensible Fortress - You may have to make this up yourselves. Prison, hospital, old warehouse,Old WPA buildings, dams, power stations, water treatment plants, any place that you can erect a fence around and patrol the borders. If you can get to an army base or old school fort you might be better off provided it's not over run with zombies. You might have to clean a little house but I'd stick to the country and away from cities unless it's a small town and you have a large group.
• Food Source - Humans can live without food for a pretty long time but your energy will wane after a little while. Stocking up on canned goods and non-perishables is ideal but can you lug all that around while you prepare your fortress? Hit up the Home Depot and Lowes if they haven't been looted and look for fruit and vegetable seeds and get planting a garden to sustain yourself while you're locked behind your sturdy walls.

That's all I've got. Feel free to add more for me. I may not get far but I'll probably get farther than most since I do well under pressure and am not 100% stupid.

Do you watch The Walking Dead?
In the event of the zombie apocalypse are you Team Zombie or Team Survivor?

The Number One Reason Why Politics Matter

I could go on and on about how if you live in America you should vote and I actually was going to but then I changed my mind. It was going to be one of those unbiased rants (AHAHAHAHA) where I give you facts from government websites and studies about things that are important and that you should vote simply because you are allowed to.

Then I realized that's not what my blog is about and that's not what I'm about. I, like the rest of the country, only care about politics when it's an election year. I forget about the butt nuggets who run for office seconds after the winners are announced and don't give a hoot about it for the next two years and I really only pay attention during election years. *ahem*

But I have to tell you the number one reason why politics matter. It's important to me and I'm sharing it with you because this is my blog and I can but also because I want you to know that this is serious business. You know, voting for the lesser of all the evils on the ballot.

My fellow Americans, I present to you the number one reason why politics matter:

November is National Blog Posting Month?

So November is apparently National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo? That just looks like a bunch of elements from the periodic table strung together to me. I see you Salt, Boron, Polonium and Molybdenum!  Science nerds say whaaaaa?

Anyways this looks kind of interesting? Even though it is apparently done every month. FINALLY! Something that legitimately happens every month instead of only feeling like it happens every month like BLAH-BLAH-BLAH Awareness Month. But really, do you really want to hear (I mean read, duh) my incessant nonsense every single day this month? Ok then, your funeral.

They gave out some prompts... be prepared because I'm obviously going to need them. Although some of these are kind of awful and by awful I mean over done.

NaBloPoMo November 2012 Prompts:
Tell us your favorite quotation and why.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
What are your thoughts about tomorrow's election in the United States?
If you were President of the United States, what would be your first act in office?
Talk about the last compliment you received.
If you could have any job (and instantly have the training and qualifications to do it), which job would you want?
If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
Where is your favourite place to blog?
What is the bravest thing you've ever done?
Tell us about the best meal you ever cooked.
Tell us about your favourite pet.
Would you buy your dream house if the price was right BUT you also were told it was inhabited by ghosts?
If you had to get locked in some place (book store, amusement park, etc) overnight alone, where would you choose to be locked in?
Talk about the opening of your favourite book.
Where is your favourite place to read?
When was the last time that you cried?  Why?
What is the hardest word for you to say?
Do you speak more than one language?  How did you learn the additional languages?
If you could instantly know any language in the world, which one would it be?
Tell us about the worst trip you ever took.
Tell us about three new blogs you found this year.
What has been the hardest part about blogging daily?

Seriously, these prompts could be a little more...meaty. Like give me a recipe and then have me make it. Write about what happened, take pictures, type up family/friend review.
Any various science project would make a cool blog entry. Or research your family history and find one interesting fact about your heritage then write about it. Build an exploding volcano and take pictures, do a random DIY and write about your experience, come up with your own DIY, review a book, purposefully write a funny blog entry, write a short story about your shoes, Knock an item off your bucket list, Interview a stranger, interview a family member as though they are the President of the United States, ect. Obviously I'm not that much better at coming up with prompts so I guess I should apologize but I'm not gonna. I'm going to replace a few of these prompts with my own and you can be surprised! I'm trying to plan it out right now. You know for when I don't have these things scheduled. LOL. 

Told you!

If you'd like to participate go on over and sign up here before 11 pm EST on Nov 5th, at which time it will close to new entries. Apparently there are prizes to be given out? I'm just in it to complete something I start because I have a nasty habit of starting something and never finishing it. *cough* roller derby, making soap, not biting my nails *cough* You know, important stuffs.

Happy Halloween - Samhain!

I'm taking a day off from my usually scheduled blogging to give you a glimpse at Brittany and myself's Halloween outfits. We are both going to be 1950's housewives. Origionally we were all going to be characters fro Adventure Time but it was dress up or go to Halloween Horror Nights. You guys know which one I picked. Then I was going to be Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice but I didn't think anyone would get it. I'd just look like my usual all black self!


Click here to help me win a Canon EOS 6D

I'll try and post pictures this weekend to show you how it went but I make no promises as it is Ivory's first real Halloween. Brit dressed her up last year but she wasn't talking, walking or even crawling and they didn't in fact go trick or treating. This year she is going to be a unicorn and well, we'll see about that. She threw a fit last night when we tried to put it on her and to take it off. Like full fledged hissy fit. She hates things on her head so....

1. She was reaching up to pull it off.
2. Unicorn horns are tasty.
3. Mom, you be a unicorn. You wear it.
4. I'm going to call everyone I know and tell them how mean you are.

What are you dressing up as?
If you are going trick-or-treating have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Raise Your Hand If You're Not Helping

Helpful kitty is not helpful!

I feel like ranting right now. This is my blog, I can do that. So I'm gonna.

There's this whole boy thing. One particular boy and one particular "relationship" (let's use that term loosely). Now, I fucked up royally. I truly did. I don't know if I shared too much or not enough. Either way, yeah that was my bad. I kind of want to just speak to that person right now because I did a lot of thinking over the weekend and this is just really, it's been on my mind for a while and I gotta get it out somewhere where someone will read it. And probably judge me. Whatever.

I don't know what happened with us. I feel like I fought for you. Actually, I did. You went from being Sci-Fi Cutie to having a name. From me trying to stick around work longer because you were reading and making sure every one of my co-workers knew to pass you off to me when I was working, to you coming in to ask me every Tuesday if there were any new science fiction books worth reading. Then I did it. I asked for your e-mail to add you on Facebook - because telephone number sounds too much like I'm asking you out (too shy to do that) and no one uses myspace anymore. Then I asked for your friends too because I couldn't leave him out and make it still look like I was only interested in being your friend. I should have just asked for your number. I should have. I didn't. Rookie mistake. I'd never asked a guy out or for his information before. I always waited for the guy and this time I thought 'no I'll be a woman of the 21st century and ask you!' But then I added you and you sent me a message (wow, this feels so much like high school) and it was all over. I'm pretty sure I asked you to the movies and when you said yes I remember changing 15 million times, going through everything in my closet and even going into my mom's room to see if she had stolen anything of mine or if anything of hers would do. Then I got there and you paid for my ticket and opened doors and let me pick the seats. You sat through a horrible movie with me and didn't mind. You also didn't mind my insentient talking that I do, well, I was going to say when I'm nervous. But really it just happens if I'm awake. You respected my no touching rule and asked me for a hug when we parted. I loved that. And this was our relationship for a while. Texting, facebook, movie dates, you coming into work to see me and so on. 

Until the Ren Faire. That was just, never drink the mead kids. Just don't do it. It will jack you up quicker than you know it and make you do things you wouldn't normally do. Like kiss a guy when you promised yourself to not make the first move. Because that's fair right? I asked you to hang out, asked for your information making it obvious that I liked you. So in turn, if you liked me YOU would kiss ME. But no, because mead messes with your head. So I get drunk and go on and on about how awesome you are to your friends (I'm laughing at the memory of that) and then make friends with random strangers in the bathroom and then when I'm too drunk to walk you carry me and sit with me in the backseat and that's when I reach my worst.  I kissed you. I didn't remember it at first. Not until you asked me to your house to meet your parents and hang out for Memorial day. 

I remember that day like it was yesterday. You made me just walk into your house. I HATE doing that. Answer the damn door I said but you refused and so I shakily turned the knob to some strangers house and prayed that you'd be on the other side waiting to laugh at me. Laugh because I was terrified I had the wrong house. Terrified someone would stab me with a knife for entering their house but what I should have been terrified of was behind your door. I open it and your mother peaks her head around the corner and knows me instantly even though we never met. And she knows I don't like to touch people so she offers me her hand. I am floored. You talked about me? To your mother? Oh Lordy. I am flooded with "HI's!" and "Hello! Have a drink!" and thankfully I see familiar faces from the Ren Faire and they are already wasted worse than I was then so I don't feel so bad. But no one told me it was a pool party (and it was much too cold with the wind anyways). I had no clue your house was so massive. Then you introduced me to your dad and the awkwardness was worse because you looked just like him only he was like 6 foot tall and said he didn't care if I didn't like to be touched, this was a hugging family. Then he not only hugged me but picked me up off the ground. OI! After a few beats it was like I was part of the whole group. Until my being a vegetarian came up and everyone freaking out because there was nothing I could eat except vegetables and your mom feeling bad for it. That was a really good day. I thought it was a great day actually. Even when your mom said that I needed to come around more so that you would stop playing World of Warcraft so much and her dismay that I played too. And how hands on you were with me. I didn't mind it so much anymore. I actually wanted you to hold my hand or put your arm around me. I was 100% fine when you had your hand on my leg. It's strangers who unnecessarily touch me that I am phobic of and I've always hated hugs. I'm not a hugger.

But then you dropped a bomb on me. You wanted to know why I was so embarrassed upon being reminded that I kissed you. You wanted to know why it was bad and I couldn't answer. I couldn't answer without making things heavy and I was trying desperately to avoid it. Because people had told me that was my problem in relationships before. That I was just too much, too intense too soon and too emotional. So I was trying to avoid being clingy, needy and emotional. I was trying to keep it light. I shouldn't have. I should have told you then that I didn't want to kiss you first, that I wanted you to kiss me because I was terrified. Terrified of liking or caring for someone else more than they cared for me and if you kissed me first that meant that my feelings were ok.

And then you wanted to meet my crazy family and I was against it. I fought it off for months. Until I had more family visiting and you wanted to meet them. And then my grandpa got sick and it was just this mess but you still wanted to know my crazy asshole family. So I let you meet them. And then you split. Literally. You left and you barely spoke to me and then you just stopped. I tried to keep in contact but I had my own issues. And I still laugh that you hadn't spoken to me in a month yet were upset when I got kicked out that I didn't come running to you. I'm sorry, were we talking? You had no clue what I was going through. So I was going to randomly show up at your parents house at 10pm with all my stuff in my arms, crying because I had no where else to go. Did you really misjudge me and how proud I am? I would never do that. Never in a million years have I or would I ever run to a man with my problems. I can't even run to my mom or my grandma with my problems half the time and they are the closest people to me. Fuck, they are family!

And we haven't spoken since then, except a few times on facebook but it is always cold and detached. Like you regard me with as much civility as required and nothing more. Do you hate me for something? What, for not letting you sweep me off my feet? For being stupid? Ok I get that. But I still think of you all the time and I still wonder if maybe I would have tried harder to stay in California had things between us been different. If maybe we were still talking or maybe if I had said to you I got kicked out. Maybe if I wasn't so proud would I have crashed at your parents. But we'll never know that.

I still wonder though, when I move back will it be different? Will I be able to say exactly what I've written here, that it isn't over for me and I want to know what happened or if we could possibly try again?

I just, I had to expel all that word vomit that has been plaguing me. I was talking to him on facebook yesterday and Brit noticed the whole change in my mood and knew it was a boy. Obviously, I only get googly-eyes for a few people when my phone lights up and when I denied it being my usual she got curious and dug it out of me. Insert more BFF judging here.

One of the things I love about Brit is her bitchy ways. But we are two dominate personalities living under a tiny roof and sometimes we just clash. We've always been this way. We get catty and petty and we just brawl until we're basically hugging each other and apologizing. Only it never looks like that. We're like dudes in that way. We never really say we're sorry to each other we just kind of know the other one is sorry. We never say it. Kind of like we know we care about the other one but we just never say it. Neither of us are the mushy type - unless it's Ivory. She's always the exception.

But sometimes I just look at her and I go "raise your hand if you're not helping" because sometimes the things she says are mean and judgmental and rather than fight with her because I'm dealing with something heavy I just tell her that she's not being helpful. It's the only time were we actually communicate effectively. I know it sounds odd but our friendship is only something we can understand. Actually, no, just kidding, I don't understand it at all. But whatever.

So yesterday she actually did the BFF thing and helped me realize that I just need some closure and that's why this is bugging me so much. I never got that. Everything is unresolved and I know that is my fault. I was trying to be something I'm not. Maybe I needed to be me and to be heavy and he'd either deal with it or he wouldn't and then at least I would know where I stand. I won't make that mistake again.

Phew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Back to my regular scheduled blogging tomorrow!

Are you subscribed?
Sign up through Google Reader via FeedBurner or bloglovin' 
and get my posts directly to your feed!

How To Blog: SEO, Keywords and Meta Tags for Blogger

So basically I am throwing a fit right now. As in I am taking after Ivory and kicking and screaming and throwing myself onto the ground. I cannot find one article that PROPERLY goes over HOW TO ADD META TAGS. Sure, they tell you to use keywords and meta tags but where is my instruction manual? I mean, ok I know what a keyword is and I know what a tag is but how do I actually use it? HOW?! It's a how-to right? So how the EFF do I do this? I couldn't find one, probably because it is such a massive topic, so I'm writing it.

I worked for a media company, and sure I did some minor SEO for one of their many websites but the initial hardwork was already done for me. Someone had already come in and added all the keywords. I just had to do it per piece (blog). I don't consider myself an expert by any means but what I love about that phrase is how it translates. I'm being transparent right now in telling you I don't do this for a living, I make no guarantees but really what it means is I have no clue, I just hope this works so don't get your knickers in a twist if it doesn't pan out for you the way I said it *might*.

Unfortunately SEO is a guessing name. It is trial and error. This could work for you but it won't work for the next joe shmoe that comes along. Or it could work for a while and then Google re-does their algorithm (fancy math mumbo jumbo for the formula that brings up your site and not anothers based on specific parameters). Basically, it keeps changing and we have to keep re-doing our SEO tactics because well, SEO is not only trial and error but it's a massive chess game and basically we're all trying to take home the Benjamins instead of the queen.

So anyways back to these key words and tags. EVERYONE needs to do this, right now. I went over all of my favorite blogs and guess how many had this in their templates? NONE. So get on this right now because you are missing out on so much. Go to your favorite blogs and hit CONTROL + U. Then click CONTROL + F and type in "keywords" if it doesn't show up try looking under "meta" and see if it comes up then. If a string of words separated by commas does not show up this person is missing out completely on one key part of SEO.

I have found this typically of Blogger users. I've also found a tool for blogger users to generate this SEO code and all you have to do is open up your template and place it in. Copy and paste. BOOM. You're done. It's so simple and I'm trying to wrap my head around why more Blogger users don't have this? It took me about 20 minutes and three searches to find all this information. Surely you have 20 minutes to invest in your blog. If not, why do you even have one?

Instruction Manual:

Part Un (One): So I broke this down into three 5-step parts. Part one is making sure you have meta tags enabled and have a search description within blogger. Many people don't use the "blogger bar" but some do and people can find your blog based on that. But the only way Blogger will know if this person will find your blog interesting is if the description tells them it's similar. For example, if Person A's blog is about make up and your blog is about make up you want Person B looking for a make up blog to go from Person A's blog to your blog correct? Let's help you achieve that goal by enabling meta tags and by putting a good and accurate description of your blog out there.

1. Go to Settings
2. Then go to Search Preferences
3. At the top of the page, enable Meta Tags if it hasn't already been done
4. Write up your cute little description for search engines to find.
5. Save your changes

Part Deux (Two):
This unfortunately isn't enough. You need keywords or meta tags to help boost your rankings within Google because let's face it Blogger is huge but you want more pieces of the pie than just Blogger. You want people from WordPress, Typepad and all those other platforms as well as those people who don't blog but are looking for informational stuffs that your blog SHOULD have. This is important. Professor Google isn't stupid okay? Google knows when you put "World Of Warcraft" as a keyword but your website is really about My Little Pony. It just knows those two things are not even remotely related. It's like God of the internet ok, you can't fool it and if you do it won't be for long. So this is where I show you how to put in meta tags. 

1. Go to Template
2. Click "Back Up/ Restore"
3. Download your Template (IMPORTANT!)
4. Close this pop-up window
5. Click the Edit HTML button.

Part Trois (Three):

Go to: http://seotools.bloggertricks.com/free/online-meta-tags-generator-tool/ and set up your basic stuffs. Insert your website's name, your name, copyright description from the previous step and now comes the hard part, those damn keywords. Initially just write "KEYWORDS" and hit continue since you can add your keywords later. I highlighted my code so you can see where the different entries are and what they look like once filled.

1. Make Sure "Expand Widget Templates" is checked.
2. Find the line (CTL + F) highlighted yellow.
3. Copy the code from Part Deux and paste it DIRECTLY BELOW #2.
4. Preview what your blog looks like, if you get an error in the preview DO NOT SAVE as it will mess up your whole template. Fix whatever error it gave you and try again.
5. If you see your website and no error from #4 then come back and hit save and you're done!

If you are having problems with keywords, read on my friends.

HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS - Spoiler Alert

If you haven't already gone to Halloween Horror Nights but plan on going, don't read this until you've gone. I'll just end up ruining it for you.

So Saturday was just a bunch of bullshark. I probably ran the gauntlet of emotions. Late Friday night Brittany's mom text her saying she was sick, thought she had pneumonia and wouldn't be able to take care of Ivory. After Brit already got her shift covered, which was apparently an ordeal. Brit and I were pissed. It was less than 24 hours notice, on a Friday night... and we were like "well we could go Sunday but again who'd watch Ivory?" and plus we both had to work early on Monday and it would be extremely unlikely to get someone to watch her the next Saturday. So we paid my friend Jen $25 to watch her. Then when Brittany went to buy the tickets online as we were leaving it said it was Sold Out!

Brittany called up our friend Aubrey who works at Universal year around and he assured us to bring our coke can with us that it was impossible to sellout because everyone is coming and going, blah blah blah. So we drive 2 hours to get there and all the signs say sold out. So we get to the parking gate and Brittany goes, "If he tells me it's sold out I'm going to piss on his face." I've never laughed so hard in my life. So we get up there and I go "on a scale of yeah to no not really, how sold out is this?" and he goes "uh, they told us it was sold out but I have no clue. They might have tickets and just have us put that up when it's close to slow down the amount of people." So we pay the man his money and RACE towards the parking which was a cluster of doom. I felt bad for the traffic guy because no one was paying him any attention. So we run. Brit's in heeled boots and I'm like "well, glad I ate my wheaties this morning." We get there and we're trying to call Aubs and he's doing his show work so he couldn't meet us up front but we got in, thank god. So we go, get drinks and try and find Aubrey. Then we wait in line for 2 hours for Silent Hill. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. The black lady in front of me was freaking out and Brit was clutching on me and I just laughed at everyone. Then we timed it out. if we had to wait 2 hours for every house we'd never make it to all of them so we prioritized. The Walking Dead, Alice Cooper and then the rest of them if we have time. We didn't. We spent too much time in line, in the scare zones trying to find Aubrey, waiting for booze, ect. We vowed two things for next year: Boys to make out with in line to make it go by faster and express passes. They were $100 otherwise we would have gone for it.

We waited in line for The Walking Dead for 3 fucking hours. Let me tell you that despite me getting wicked bad acid reflux and the hiccups at the same time, my whole body killing me and the lady in front of me not only annoying Brit and myself to the point of us almost killing her for our own sanity that her own husband told her to shut up towards the end, it was completely worth it. I am not easily scared, I mostly just laugh at them. But this house got me. I wasn't a fan of the whole hospital setting or that they didn't actually chase you and that the mattresses touched you (because you know me and my bubble) after a million other people have gone through it (GERMS!). But I screamed so loud at the end of it that I scared 3 people behind me and the crazy girl who wouldn't shut up in front of me that she jumped on her husband and knocked him over. It was hilarious.

Then we tried to find Aubrey. Brit had to pee every five minutes because she was drinking. If you go and you're over 21, get the Dead Walker. So good. I don't even like Malibu Rum and I thought it was good. It's Malibu and "Minute Maid Fruit Juices" which was grapefruit and I think apple juice, not sure.

We went to Alice Cooper because my friend said it was "Pyschotic" but it was just stupid. We finally caught up with Aubrey after he was out of work after Alice Cooper and just hung out with him for a little bit. Then we left and went to Denny's. I almost fell asleep like 50 bajillion times. I was touching my face just to wake up. I thought eating would help but it didn't. Brit and I were so wrecked after it and all we did was basically stand in line for 6 hours. It was miserable. Brit was running on 3 hours of sleep, myself on 5 and then we ending up staying up until 5am. Brit had to get up with Ivory at 8 and then run her mom around. I slept until 2 which is something I NEVER do so my whole body was pissed. I was hungover without even drinking. I wore comfortable shoes so I can't even understand why my body was so messed up. Getting old I guess.

So that was Halloween Horror Nights. If we lived closer we would have done multiple nights so we could ride on the rides and hit all of the houses. Maybe even endure the wait for The Walking Dead again.

Currently: Bored Out Of My Gourd

Loving;  That tomorrow is Friday and after Friday it's the weekend and the weekend means Saturday. Saturday means two things: I can sleep in (which I probably won't) and HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS. I love scary stuff so much and HHN's has The Walking Dead... ZOMG I am just... yes please. YES. Obviously I'm bored enough to photoshop myself into pictures of zombies and promo photo's for HHN then I'm really bored.

Reading;  I'm just reading the blogs and finding them terribly boring lately. I'm bored with blogging and with many things. I'm hoping HHN revives me a bit somehow. I'm just not feeling the book or blog love these days. By that I mean I'm not feeling the love toward other blogs, ya'll are loving my blog just fine. And that's the way I like it. ;)

Watching; I'm about to start a freaking pirating marathon so I can watch something to escape my boredom while at work! It's ridiculous.

Anticipating;  This weekend... obviously Halloween Horror Nights. I love scary stuffs.

Listening to;I just discovered The Lennings via Liz and The Lumineers via Spotify. SO GOOD. Alternating between them, Mumford and Sons and the new Kesha song. DON'T JUDGE ME. That's a really good song and it's so catchy. Kesha and Pitbull are like my guilty pleasures. Everyone has them. Oh shut up already.

Planning; I fully intend on getting up some of the pictures I've taken of Ivory at the park. She's walking now you guys.... she was barely crawling the last time I posted pictures of her for her birthday. Like, SHE'S SO BIG.

Working on; I don't really have anything much to report on in this department. I should be working on ideas for how to get sponsorship but with everything else going on in my life (work drama, baby duty, trying to find "me" time, preparations for moving, school, ect) it is sitting on the back burner.

Wishing; I had a new camera. Borrowing my friends is killing me. Or that it was Saturday already.

What are you up to?

CommentLuv, We Are Never Getting Back Together. Like Ever.

So I decided to remove CommentLuv from my blog. Remember how excited I was when I announced it? Well, it looks like it runs better with WordPress than Blogger. I couldn't get the links to work or customize the comment section so it integrated better with my template and there is virtually no support. It looks like just the owner going around and e-mailing anyone who complains to send him their template.

While I understand that he is just one person and that every case is different as he so eloquently put it on one website if you fixed what was wrong with your program (links not working, uninstalls not working, easier coding edits, ect) then people wouldn't want to uninstall. It was just a lot of hassle for nothing. So back to blogger I go. I don't want to try Disquis or anything like that right now. Maybe in the future.


I am extremely bummed that all my comments are gone however but at least this way now I know when people comment because blogger will tell me. That was another beef I had. I had it set to moderate and comments got pushed through, so I took that off because what good is that option if it doesn't work? Then I selected for them to e-mail me for every comment and I haven't gotten a single e-mail. Even through the contest where people commented away I got nothing. I had to do extra work to double check my posts every hour to make sure I got to everyone and even then I still missed some! Forgot about if someone comments on a post from way back when! I'll never find them. :( So stinky o' blogger comment form it is!

BTW, I hated this song when it first came out but it has seriously grown on me. Taylor Swift is just so cute and nice, I feel like we could be besties. Don't you feel that way too? I honestly wanted to punch Kanye for interrupting her acceptance speech. If it was me, I would have gone totally ghetto on his ass. How dare you! You're a big meanie Kanye! Beyonce was doing the same damn video over and over there for awhile. I honestly just wanted to sit down and say, "Look B, I can tell you miss being in Destiny's Child what with your dancing with two ladies behind you so just ask Kelly and Michelle to take you back. You know their careers need it and you obviously need it emotionally like I do. What do you say?" and call it a day. Obviously I still haven't forgiven Kanye for this little incident, even if it has been years.

This kind of reminds me of the time I used TLC's "No Scrubs" to break up with my first ever boyfriend. It was kind of awful of me and I think I'm still getting bad karma for it.

Have you ever used a song to break up with someone? What was your worst break up like?

And the winners are....

Beyonce and I are happy to announce the winners of the Free Ad Space Giveaway!  This contest was, in my humble opinion a huge success and I know that I said I was going to wait until tomorrow and announce it then but I can't. I just can't.


Drum roll please...

I have e-mailed the winners and am waiting to approve their ads once they've submitted them. Thank you to everyone who entered, who commented, follows my twitter, likes me on Facebook or subscribes through RSS, Bloglovin thank you.