Currently: Ugly Crying Like Kim Kardashian

I'm going to warn you that I am writing this at the height of my emotional breakdown and that it will be full of hateful self-deprecating remarks. If you can't hang, it's best to leave now and come back on Monday when I will have some news that won't make you want to bitch slap me across the face.

THIS IS ALSO GETS GRAPHIC (NC-17 / NSFW), SO KIDS LOOK AWAY.

I have officially given up on dating. I just dealt with my last asshole for the last time. I can't do this anymore. I have spent the better part of the last 7 years trying to fix myself. I worked on every issue anyone has ever said I had.

And it wasn't enough. I am never enough.

I am never good enough. For anyone. Something is always wrong with me but the reason this time just blows my fucking mind. Here I'll paste the convo for you. FYI: He's in the white, I'm in the gray.

Here comes the big fucking reveal....

I AM TOO NICE?!

So instantly I am like "are you bullshitting me?" Then came the tears. "Maybe that's code for 'too fat' or maybe even 'too ugly' and he just didn't have the balls to say it to my face. I mean we're not even face to face and I had to call him out before he couldn't even say he didn't like me. Really, what he is saying is he didn't like me. I'm too nice? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"



Some people were made to be old maids. Look at Jane Austen; she's the most famous woman in literature and she never married, never had a relationship and people worship her. Maybe I am Jane Austen incarnate and I'm not supposed to be with anyone. Maybe these awful experiences are supposed to fuel my hatefire and inspire me to write the best god damn romantic American novel the world has ever seen and rise to fame as she did. Maybe I'm supposed to live out my days alone with cats.
I'm a glass is half full kind of girl and I dream big or go home.