My Dating Experiences Explained by Beyonce

Guys, ring the alarm - I've become a serial dater. I signed up at a particular dating website and I have been on a date three weekends in a row now. That's ridiculous. I've never been on so many dates in my life. I wish that I could say that it was easy and I found someone and my life is perfect. But the reality is dating is shitty and I've been having weird experiences. Let me have B explain it to you because I can't put it into words. Well, ok I can but she's just so beautiful....

The first date I went on was awful. Just plain awful. I cried before hand because I was freaking out. I missed my ex and I found out a little while before he unfriended me on facebook. I know, how juvenile but it was hurtful. He didn't do it when we stopped talking, he didn't do it when I moved to FL, he didn't do it when I told him I was moving back and he didn't even do it right after I moved back. He waited like 2 almost 3 months AFTER I moved back and after I tried talking to him. That was hurtful. I asked him for an explanation and he has ignored me. I decided the best way to move on was to date.

So I agreed to go see a guy I had talked to for a day. He took me to a movie and to a theater where I had memories with the ex and he talked a lot, made me hug him AND THEN... wait for it... he put his hand on my leg.  I was rigid with terror the whole time. I've expressed my loathing for strangers to touch me to you guys right? My hatred of hugs? No. Dear God, let me just say this - you know how you wouldn't want someone you know to touch your, erm, private parts? Yeah that's how I feel about my whole body. You don't know me or you barely know me - why are you touching me? I know I could have told him to move his hand but I thought "no, try and get used to it." I never did. It was awful. The hug at the end was awful. I hugged him twice and that was dumb.

When he text me right after he was like "you didn't seem to be into me." I didn't tell him he was way too clingy. He texted me every second of the one day we were in communication and if I didn't answer in a timely fashion I got "?" texts until I answered - basically every 5 minutes. It was awful. So I was polite (I thought) and said "If I am being honest. I wasn't. I'm sorry." and he replied with "ok good you're boring. Have a nice life." I couldn't even dignify that with a response.

Date two was a lot more interesting. I was excited, no break downs. He seemed perfect. But it was too good to be true. The date went ok. It started out bad. I actually almost got sick and had to leave. The place was so hot and we were sitting there and all of a sudden I got sharp excruciating pains in my stomach and I started shaking and sweating. So I went outside into the cold air to cool off and then after like 5 minutes I felt better. So I went back inside and asked if we could move to the patio. I felt so bad. We joked about it but the waitress was so nice. So we basically stayed until they kicked us out at midnight (they closed at 10) but because we tipped really good for their excellent service I think they let us stay until we wanted to leave. We just spent so much time talking and it was good.
But as the days went by he became too clingy and way too handsy and I just wasn't ready. When I tried to talk to him about it he literally just said "this is who I am and I'm not changing" when I asked him if he could try to stop being so needy I could try to deal with it. Because I can't handle clingy, needy people. I can't. I need my space. I don't want to talk to you every second of every day and I can't be with you every second of every day. I can't. I work, I have my family, I just can't.

But what that said to me was "I refuse to compromise" and if he wouldn't compromise on something like that what else wouldn't he compromise on? He wouldn't even try to make an effort. That's a deal breaker. I have put down rules. I refuse to be the only person to sacrifice anything, to continually give and take IOU's and then never actually get anything back. I am so done with that.

Then tonight I went out again. Boy, what a waste of hair and make up. I think I looked really good tonight. I spent an hour curling my hair. My eyeliner looked perfect and so did my eye brows and I tried out a new shade of lipstick that looked really cute and my dress was comfy and I looked cute.

 But it was like we were just friends and he spent more time on his phone and watching the soccer game on the TV behind me than he did participating in conversation with me. Then on the way home he sprung that "what do you want in a guy" question on me. Why? So you can pretend to be everything I am looking for regardless if that's you or not? Then he asked if I was talking to other guys. Well, yes I am. I'm not in a relationship. I'm not sleeping around and even if I was it isn't his business because I wasn't going to sleep with him. Those questions are so awkward for a first date. It was just blah.

I have a few friends who are actively interested in my dating escapades. Mainly because I'm usually the single girl. I've never really had a boyfriend, just casual relationships and I've never been extremely interested in relationships. I'm actually putting forth an effort this time and I think that surprises people.

Honestly I am only doing this for curiosity. Everyone I know is either in a relationship, has children or is pregnant and/or is married or engaged. I don't know  a whole lot of people who are single with no kids anymore. I'm almost 25 and I've never had a real relationship? Am I missing a gene or something that everyone else seems to be born with? I also want kids but always told myself to be smart. Have a job, a car, a house and be self-sustained before I have kids. That has always been my plan and now I'm not producing eggs, my body is literally throwing a wrench in all my plans. If I wanted kids I should have had them at 17,18,19 or 20. Now it's basically too late. I tried to do the responsible thing and it back fired on me. It's not fair.

So this is my experiment in dating. I'm finding that it's maddening. I can't understand how people enjoy this. But like I told my friend, I have to keep trying. She quit after one date and I told her she had to be open to receive love because it is out there. We go after the love we think we deserve and by her not dating she's trying to say she doesn't deserve love. This girl is brilliant, funny and one of the best people I know of course she deserves to be loved. Everyone does, that's the beauty of it!

So basically what I am telling you is, go out there if you're single and have some fun. Meet some new people and see where life takes you. It won't be easy but nothing in life worth having comes easy. That is what makes it so great when it works and it's right. You appreciate your Prince more when you think back on how many toads you had to kiss before he magically appeared.

Are you single or taken?
If you're single how do you weed out the crazies?
If you're taken, how'd you meet your significant other?