Calling All Women: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I just experienced a run-in with an asshole. I'm talking top-shelf asshole. Literally. I am a girl of little self-esteem but of high integrity and I'd love to say that my moral fiber is of the highest quality but really it's probably mid-grade. So when a really attractive guy wants to talk to me I'm all a giggly giddy mess. Yeah, I have very little game.

Aretha sang it best, didn't she? I feel compelled to write this as a warning to every woman and every man too because men should know that this isn't how to talk to or treat a woman. The conversation went along nice but in the course of a 20 minutes I went from giggly mess to angry feminist. He asked me how my day was, what I liked to do for fun, you know the usual every day chit-chat. I told him and asked him about his. He was very short, where I was very wordy. I thought we were getting to know each other. This was apparently his idea of foreplay because he asked me for pictures. I sent him one of my face. Then he asked for a body shot. I sent him one of me, completely covered.  I had a serious internal debate about this too. As I said I have very little self-esteem. I'm not happy with my body 100% of the time. Probably not even half the time. See my article on positive body image and Kate Upton. But I achieved what I called a body image milestone on my FB, and I call that "IDGAF." Where I don't think this picture if flattering but IDGAF you either learn to love all of me or you take a hike.

So then came the literal "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" text. I told him no and he literally replied with "sorry I'm not into waiting." and I guess I didn't get it that he was saying goodbye so he literally said "No I'm not interested anymore." So I said goodnight. A.k.a TAKE A FUCKING HIKE DUDE.

I should have ripped him a new asshole. Not that he wasn't a really big one already but why make it worse? Why make me the crazy bitch in this scenario? I have self respect that's why.  For one don't waste my fucking time. I mean I am on a DATING website. Not a HOOKING UP website. Secondly, I'm 24 not 18 and even when I was 18 I NEVER sent naked pictures of myself to someone else. Who wants an apple that already has a bite taken out of it? No one. Third, I appreciate the frankness and getting to the point but if you for one second thought that I was going to send you nudes after sending you a picture of me in a sweater that fully covers everything including my chest, and jeans you are an idiot. Finally, if you want naked pictures of someone go look them up on the internet. Join a site in which hooking up is the main object. You'll find like minded people.

I know I dodged a bullet but honestly, this shit does not happen to me. Cute guys don't ask me for nudes. Cute guys don't ask me for anything really, except maybe directions. I've never been the girl who was objectified. I'm the girl who they ask for advice about dating other girls and the answer to the homework questions in science. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't even call it rejection because he didn't reject me because of my body. He rejected me because of my mind. He rejected me because I wasn't willing to lower my selfworth for his taudry entertainment.

THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE EVERY BODY!

No woman should put her morals aside to please anyone but herself. Once you send your naked pictures to one person the whole world has them and there is no getting them taken down or back nor is there any way to keep people from ridiculing you for it. Potential employers can see that now there is even the terror that one day, far from the time of the ordeal, your kids could find that picture of you. WOW. So this is why I've never done it. Plus, it ruins the mystery. I told said asshole this and he said he didn't like waiting. It made me feel like I was in high school and the captain of the football team took me parking and made me walk home because I wouldn't have sex with him. Again, this shit never happens to me. No wonder I don't know how to deal with this. But I think I did well.

I am writing about this because I want other girls and other women to make the same choice. Just like when someone asks you to try a drug, SAY NO TO NUDES. Say yes to dignity, integrity and self-respect. Do not be pressured into doing something you are not comfortable with to please someone else. Stand your ground, be strong and if this person cares about you or likes you even the smallest bit they will respect you. If they don't just say goodbye. Wait for someone else because someone else will come and they will respect you and they won't want to say goodbye because you stayed true to yourself.

Thanks for reading.