I haven't written anything in a long time and by writing I do not mean blogs. Anyone can write a blog really but I pride myself on my ability to bend words into images in people's brain. With a few small flicks of my wrists and some pressure from my finger tips I can take anyone anywhere I wish to put them so long as they read the aftermath. I can take you deep into my childhood, or to some imaginary world I've made up with some descriptive linguistics. But I'm feeling a little lonely, as I usually do every Saturday night. Today I want to take you down the river of Love.
I miss these feelings I'm about to share with you. This was something I wrote when I first moved back to Florida and started to feel for a guy who was in a relationship. He had been honest with me about his girlfriend and had said they were having some issues and that he didn't know if he wanted to be with her because just from talking he thought feelings were forming for me.
Begin Scene:
It was but one glance from under sheepish eyes above blushing cheeks and it sealed me. You are forbidden. If we both say yes but you’re forbidden then I am alone. Alone in this feeling, in this chaste grip, in this fear. You are gentle and you are kind. I am sarcastic and I am stone. I am safe behind this curtain. You are a fantasy.
Do you feel this too?
Hearts that beat like war drums inside our chests. Your lips or mine? Our voices carrying the sheet music of our hearts. Tongues that load sharp words into our fingers as if our fingers were crossbows and the words are the arrow. Are those words aimed to wound or laced with poisonous barbs? Or are the arrows strategic floating butterflies, loaded with the sweet medicine of love and meant to heal?
If the battle is within who wins?
Your nervous habits were a dead give away that being so close to me was torture. I can feel your hands on me. Or rather I can still feel your hands on me. I can still feel the relief that permeated from your body simply by holding me. Or was that my own? I close my eyes now as I did then and I am lost in you. I do not want to run away but I do not want this. Let someone else be the one who fucked you up. Bruises, swollen cheeks, scraped knees. You are not supposed to run into fire you are supposed to fight it, to turn away from it. But I am consumed. I am burning and I am going to be ashes.
Won’t you burn with me too?
Unfamiliar and unchartered territory. I am the savage and you are the Puritan. I am tempted. Like tasting the first ripened peach I would devour you. No self-control, one bite would never be enough. I am no seductress but I could bend your will and make you mine. Jedi mind tricks and all that. But you are the variable and not the constant and this hypothesis is false. This will not be endured.
Do you understand?
I pictured us holding hands and having late night sleep overs where we laugh and talk for hours and I can sit out among the stars with you in complete silence and be content with my life and wish for nothing more than passing every day in this same way with you. You are a fantasy of the longest run-on sentence. A forbidden run-on sentence that must be re-written and organized into a complete thought that is not a jumbled mess. Something that is not the creation of a warped and twisted mind. You are unspoiled and I would rather burn and pine than see a tear in your eye. I will be brave. I will endure this and I will keep you away so that I never have to lose. I want to know the answer but the truth can be a prison and stripes do not look good on either of us.
What good can come out of knowing this; where does that leave us?
What motivates you to express yourself?
No comments :
Post a Comment
You want to comment? YAY! I love hearing what you have to say about my posts. I will try my hardest to respond to each and every one on here as well as on your blog if you have one.
Thanks for stopping by!