3 Ways to Make Me Wig Out

There are three sure-fire ways to make me jump up and down, flailing my arms and scream at the top of my lungs while running in circles. Those are:

1. Tell me there is a bug,
2. Have that bug fly in my general direction,
3. And then ask me to catch it. Um what?

Meet Manny the Mantis (Part Un):

So this is Manny the Mantis from 2010 or 2011 (Can't remember when I took these). I was at my moms and all of a sudden my mom goes "Sara get in here quick and bring your camera." So I go into the living room and her dog Shylo is barking up a storm and whining and trying to get at the poor little guy and this dude is just chilling out on the living room floor. I got down on the floor, just rested my camera in front of him and was able to take pictures without zoom. He didn't even mind the flash. This one was extremely pretty. We scooped him up and sent him to my brother in law. Boy do I miss my camera.

Meet Manny The Mantis (Part Deux):

This ugly dude was on the outside wall of my apartment. Now my brother-in-law is an entomologist which is a fancy term for  dude who studies bugs. He has his own website called Bugs in Cyberspace and the website is pretty nifty. All sorts of videos and stuff on how to raise and care for bugs and you can even purchase bugs.

So now every time I see a bug I take a picture and I'm like "Roxanne (my sister FYI), ask Peter (Brother-in-law) if he wants me to catch whatever the hell this is for him" or I often ask him "WTF IS THIS SHIT?" because Florida has some ridiculous bugs. Like King Papa Arachnid, the huntsman spider who was missing a freaking leg and had the same leg span as my hand. I posted pictures of that sucker on instagram. Nightmares for weeks people... and boy are those dudes fast. Go look them up on youtube. It'll make your skin crawl. Not dangerous to humans though, they are pretty docile but it's their size and speed and general stereotype of the species that makes them scary. That and they can eat small birds or lizards. SMALL BIRDS PEOPLE, that's ridiculous!

So anyways while I was taking pictures, Manny here decided he wanted to fly into my apartment and into my kitchen. That middle picture is him chillin' on my fridge. THIS DUDE CAN FLY and in case you were wondering his wings are clear. He's not a nice mantis. I don't like him so much. He's very skiddish and kept flying back and forth between the wall and my fridge... he just wasn't easy to catch. If he was larger I would think it was a female but because he's a pain in the ass and small I know it's a boy. 

I've been reading and watching his videos on mantids all night. My sister assured me that the mantis will be fine without food or water and in the tupperware container without holes for a few weeks! Holy cow, no food or water for weeks and it will be ok? Obviously I am going to overnight this poor thing so that he is in the best capable hands. I was very adamant that I was going to set it free if I thought it might die. I can't be responsible for killing the poor thing, I just can't. I'll let him go and be free first. If the circle of life gets him then well, that's just how it goes but I told her if I wake up and he's dead in my tupperware I'm gonna bawl my eyes out and have to hold a funeral and I'll be calling her so she can listen to the whole damn thing.

But my skin is crawling. I don't do bugs. I DON'T DO BUGS of any kind, especially ones that fly at you. No, no, no! Apparently Peter wants me to do some bug hunting for him and he'll pay me. I'm not sure how much money I need before I can do this actively. This was hard enough and up until this point I liked mantids. We'll see how this goes but it definitely should be interesting!